"Grabe, Ed Sheeran is officially my favorite singer now," I said ecstatically while listening to the radio.
It was breakfast time and I just had my bowl of oatmeal and bananas and my cup of coffee, so I'm in the mood for whatever the man has in mind right now.
"Really now? Sige nga, how would you pronounce his first album, then?" I heard him say in a snide voice.
"Like the letter X, of course," I replied without batting an eye. "Come on, Fred, what am I, a fake fan for not knowing?"
I went back to listening to Ed Sheeran's song, not really expecting any response from Fred, not that I heard him make any, at the very least.
I then notice Gus enter the dining room.
"What's up, Baby Aerodactyls?" Gus greeted, holding his mug of coffee on his right hand and a newspaper under his right armpit, which I found strange.
"What's with the newspaper?" I questioned him, turning down the volume of the radio, muffling Ed Sheeran's singing voice. "And lemme guess, that's what you call your YouTube subscribers?"
Gus rolled his eyes before answering, "Firstly, it's refreshing to be able to read some news without blue light radiation messing up your sleeping patterns for once. And second, AerodactylScreams isn't my YouTube handle for nothing, you know."
I stared at Gus for a couple more seconds before I finally shrugged it off.
I then stuffed the small radio in my drawstring bag, tied my hair in a ponytail, and said, "Well, gotta go, gonna be late for my Zumba class. Bye daddy, bye gramps!"
"Take care, unica hija," I heard Gus reply as I left the dining room.
I then took my jacket from the clothes rack down the hallway and wore it, making sure that no inch of my skin is left uncovered. Once that is done, I went to the garage to retrieve my motorcycle. After wearing my helmet, I started my motorcycle and finally left the mansion.
The sun has barely risen but I deemed it necessary to go to the gym as early as 6AM. Not because a lot of my Zumba students are early birds themselves (they probably don't wake up until nine in the morning), but because the guys who do weight training are.
Okay, Thermopylae Gym, the gym where I work is fairly new. Because of that, most guys who applied for a gym membership are somewhat new to weight training, and it goes without saying that more often than not, they would do a lot of mistakes during lifting, which could render their sets useless, or worse, potentially injure them in the long run. Though there are some members that have transferred from other gyms and can already be considered experts, they're not exactly good teachers, no matter how socially active they are, so it's up to me and Nick, the gym's owner and manager, to watch over the players, making sure they're doing their routines right. Well, at least after he takes his brother to school, that is.
Pulling the brakes of my bike as I arrived in front of the gym, I can already see a black haired burly guy in a black drop armhole tank top and gray sweatpants and a younger, skinnier guy in a school uniform on their way out.
"Realtalk, Nick, you might as well take your top off," I snickered, parking my motorbike near the entrance. "Sa lagay mong 'yan, nagdamit ka pa."
"Good morning to you, too, Raffy," Nick replied nonchalantly. "Ito ang uso ngayon, so your argument is invalid, so to speak. Anyway, buti na lang dumating ka na. Kailangan ko nang ihatid si Alvin sa school habang maaga pa. Remind me again to give you duplicates of the gym keys para hindi na hassle."
"Nick, I know you mean well, and I appreciate the trust," I replied, taking off my helmet, "but I should remind you that I am the Queen of Misplaced Stuff. I would only lose the keys if you give me copies of them."
"A queen, nevertheless," Nick said in a smooth tone. "Suit yourself, then. Well, mauna na kami. Maaga pa si Alvin ngayon since preparation para sa foundation week nila."
"Sige po, mauna na kami, Ate Raffy," the kid named Alvin added.
"Okay, take care, you two," I waved at them as they entered their Vios and eventually drove from the gym's parking lot.
When I entered the gym, I saw that there are only two players doing their weight training routines. It looks like they know what they're doing and they're doing their repetitions right, so I just proceeded to the ladies' locker room to get changed to my Zumba outfit. I could use a bit of warmup while I wait for my co-instructors and students to arrive.
*****
"Okay girls, what do you say we change it up a bit today and dance to something more retro?" I asked my co-instructors after our stretching exercise.
From here, I could already hear chatters of approval from the students.
"That'd be great, Raffy," Verity, one of my co-instructors agreed. "Actually, I was about to suggest that we dance to some 2000s music today, but yours is a better idea."
"Ooh, I should look into that," I replied, thrilled. "By the way, where's Lynn?"
"I'm not sure," Verity answered. "She said something about an ultra bonus week, but I didn't really get what she was saying. All I know is that she made it a point to keep he phone and power banks fully charged for today."
"Did she now? Well, we can probably do without her for now," I said, then took my position in front of the large mirror. "Okay girls, can everybody see me?"
The girls gave me a resounding, "Yeah~!"
"Alrighty, then I hope you're familiar with I Feel Love by Donna Summer, 'cause that's going to be our first song," I announced as I connected my wireless speaker to my phone.
Everyone cheered at my announcement.
When the music started playing, I started to do some basic warmup moves, just enough to get everyone's blood pumping.
Ooh
It's so good
It's so good
It's so good
It's so good
It's so good~
Ooh
I'm in love
I'm in love
I'm in love
I'm in love
I'm in love~
Ooh
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love~
I feel looooooove~
I feel looooooove~
As the song went on, I made dance steps that became progressively more forceful and complicated that are guaranteed to make you sweat. Most of them focused on the hips and belly because that's what most of my students target anyway, but I was sure to incorporate all other body parts so you can consider it a full body workout.
By the time the song ended, everyone was soaked with sweat, save for me.
"Okay, water break, then we'll resume with another song," I announced to the girls as they sat by the walls. I, on the other hand, don't even feel tired in the slightest, so I played Donna Summer's I Feel Love again, but this time, I alone went to the middle of the dance floor, taking off my hair tie amd letting my hair down.
Instead of repeating my Zumba moves earlier, I did a dance routine that consisted of a lot of hair flips, a bit of twerking, and a whole lotta sass. I ended my routine with a full split, which got everyone cheering wildly.
When the cheering died down somewhat, I walked up to Verity and giggled, "Dare I do that routine in front of the boys outside?"
"Huy, huwag!" Verity blurted out. "Last time you pulled a stunt like that, someone's foot got flattened by a dumbbell. Kung ako ang tatanungin, I don't want something like that to happen again, kahit na alam nating paminta ang karamihan sa kanila diyan."
"Ang nega mo talaga," I replied. "At kailan ka pa naging graduate ng Assumption College? Straight man, buo, o durog, it's none of our business what goes on with their lives outside the gym."
"Sus! Anong akala mo sa akin, judgmental?" Verity shot back. "Just so you know, I fully support everyone, no matter their sexuality. In fact, excited na nga ako how Julius and Lance's relationship would blossom."
"Ah, hindi ka nga judgmental, chismosa ka naman," I drawled, rolling my eyes, while fiddling with my phone. "I don't even know which one's worse."
Before Verity can argue back, I called to our students, "Okay, breaktime's over. Now, do you guys want some hot stuff baby this evening?"
Amidst everyone's cheers of approval, I can hear Verity shout, "Yeah! I want some hot stuff baby tonight!"
*****
"O, Raffy, magla-lunch ka na?" Nick greeted me as I passed by the gym's front table.
"Oo, buti nga hindi pa ako nalipasan ng gutom," I lied. "Time flies when you're enjoying yourself. By the way, I didn't think you'd take my advice this morning seriously."
Sure enough, Nick had taken off his tank, to be replaced by a red towel around his neck.
"I had to," Nick reasoned. "Someone asked me earlier how to properly do Celtic push-ups. I had to take my shirt off so I could show him all the muscle groups at work, para mas madaling ituro."
"Celtic push-ups?" I repeated. "Isn't that very high intensity? I heard you wouldn't be able to do it for so long, if you're not built for it."
"That's correct, Raffy," Nick confirmed, "which is why it is an exercise reserved for the most rigorous routines, though kung malaki na ang katawan mo, it doesn't really do much help, unless nagpapakitang-gilas ka lang."
Just then, someone entered the gym and greeted us, "Hi, good afternoon. Sorry I'm super late."
"Lynn, maaga ka pa para bukas," I heard Verity call to her from behind me. "Teka, is that what I think it is?"
I saw what Verity meant: Lynn was carrying two boxes of pizza bundled together. It was a wonder why I didn't smell it from outside.
"Ah oo, I brought some pizza because I felt like celebrating," Lynn explained, then took out her phone and showed it to us. "Isa na lang ang kulang."
Looking at her phone, I saw pictures of three strange creatures, all colored red with green accents. They look somewhat similar, but there was a fundamental difference in each of their appearances. All three were labeled 'Deoxys.'
Something tells me that Lynn is a Baby Aerodactyl.
"Adik 'to," Verity mumbled. "So enough na yan para magpa-pizza ka?"
"Why not, 'diba?" Lynn replied. "And of course, I know that Raffy is allergic to garlic, so I just told them to hold the garlic."
Figures. No wonder I didn't smell anything.
"Aww, thank you, but you shouldn't have," I said, nevertheless. "I already have my antihistamines, you know."
"Kahit na," Nick inserted. "Antihistamines can only do so much kung nagka-anaphylaxis ka na. Alvin's told me about it in passing while reviewing for his entrance exam for senior high."
"So ano, let's eat?" Lynn offered, motioning for us to go to a cottage near the gym's entrance. That cottage serves as a resting place exclusively for us gym instructors.
We took our time eating inside the cottage. The inside of the gym might have a good ventilation system, but the natural breeze of the outside hits differently. In any case, each of us had four slices of pizza, two from each box Lynn brought. I'd have to commend her for asking the chef to hold the garlic. Nick was right: antihistamines wouldn't help much if I ever come in contact with garlic.
*****
"Raffy, samahan mo naman akong umuwi," Verity asked me halfway through the afternoon while I was teaching a first-timer how to properly do bench presses. "I think my period's arriving early this month, I'm already have a cramping feeling, and I'm not sure if I can take the commute home by myself."
"Ha? Meron ka na ngayon?" I demanded. "Then maybe that's why you weren't as energetic as you usually are by the time we finished lunch. You can just hitch a ride with me, pero sa tingin mo ayos lang kina Nick at Lynn na maiwan dito?"
"It's okay, I think," Lynn replied for Verity. "Nick told something about being able to watch the gym until closing time because he'll pick up his brother rather late tonight. And also, parang thank you ko na rin ito for holding the fort while I was on an adventure this morning. So kami na muna ang bahala dito."
"Oh sige, I'll just go get changed, then," I said before going to the women's locker room to wear my riding gear.
*****
It was only a short ride from Thermopylae Gym to Verity's house. I waited for her to enter her gate before leaving and deciding to go back to the gym since it's still four-thirty in the afternoon. There's plenty of time to spare, and I can't possibly let Nick and Lynn handle the gym by themselves for the reminder of the day.
I was driving without a care in the world when I just noticed that several minutes have already passed and I still haven't passed the entrance to the gym. It didn't really strike me as odd because I know for a fact that I'd just passed a crossroad with a sign that clearly says San Pedro St. and San Pedro (Melag), and I often zone out when driving, so I could have just felt like several minutes have passed but in actuality, it's just a short time.
What felt like a few minutes have passed when I came across another crossroad with a sign that said San Pedro St. and San Pedro (Melag). This is where I asked myself how many San Pedro Streets are in San Carlos. I'm only aware of two.
I suddenly pulled the brakes a few minutes later when I saw a crossroad and the very same signage for the third time. I'd still be considering it as a coincidence if I just happen to go in a circle and drive through the same crossroad twice, but three times? I think I already know what I'm dealing with right now.
There was only one problem: the sun's still up.
"Son of a cunt, I guess I'll just have to act fast," I muttered, unbuckling my helmet to prepare to take my clothes off.
Once I fully removed my helmet, I knew there was no turning back. I quickly moved to unzip my jacket, removed it as fast as I can, then removed my sports bra to turn it inside out. As I was wearing it back, I could already feel my exposed skin sting from the sun's rays, so I know I had to act faster.
Removing my pants was a harder job because I had to remove my shoes first. I was already grunting in pain as the remaining exposed skin started smoking as I wore my pants inside out. A great surge of relief hit me when I finally managed to wear my jacket after turning that inside out.
By the time I put my helmet back on, I could just see two glowing orange orbs by a narrow tree on the side of the road. This confirmed my suspicion that what I'm dealing with is a kapre. I was taken aback by what the creature told me then.
"Sorry about that," the kapre called to me from the side of the road. I can't really see the creature, but I can just make out that the voice indeed came from where the two glowing orbs are. "I was just testing out this tree if it's suitable to live in, and I must have caught you in my cigar's smoke."
"So you did," I replied, keeping my guard up. "Just to be clear, you have no ill intentions to me or anyone who happened to pass by, do you?"
With the way the two orbs moved, I assumed the kapre shook his head. "Nope, no ill intentions whatsoever. Besides, I'm already through my teenage phase, so I'm past the need to kidnap women or anyone I fancy."
"Huh, then I guess I can somewhat trust you to leave you on your business then, Mr. Kapre," I said in a somewhat dismissive tone.
"It's Kapan'alig," the kapre specified. "My name is Kapan'alig."
"Oh, well, it's nice to meet you, Kapan'alig," I replied. "I know I should really be leaving right now, but I just have to ask, why are you looking for a new tree to live in? What happened to the old one?"
"Well, my mango tree happened to be located in an unused rice field," the kapre named Kapan'alig started explaining. "I don't exactly know what happened, but people just stopped working on that field, and a few days later, the entire place was fenced up. Over time, the soil dried up, the land became unfertile, and my mango tree slowly died from lack of nourishment. I have no choice but to look for another tree where no other being lives in."
Just then, my phone rang from inside my drawstring bag. Thinking of nothing in particular, I took it to see Lynn calling me. I answered without hesitation.
"Yo Raffy, you forgot your speakers here in the gym," I heard Lynn speak. "Will you be getting it when you get back later?"
I looked at where the kapre should be standing where I can now see the glowing orange orbs better because of the setting sun. For some reason, a sudden stroke of inspiration gave me an idea for a very bold plan.
"Um, just leave it on Nick's desk," I replied. "I'm gonna use it again tomorrow anyway. Besides, I ran into a friend and we're going to have a little talk."
"Okay then, have fun," said Lynn before hanging up.
When I looked up, instead of just two glowing orange orbs, I can now see the full form of a large man about nine feet tall with the majority of his body covered in shaggy hair and is wearing what seems to be a traditional Bontoc loincloth. Despite his large cigar between his teeth glowing bright orange, I can see his wide toothy grin. For a kapre, his teeth are surprisingly white.
"You called me your friend," the kapre named Kapan'alig told me, his voice filled with joy. "You actually called me your friend."
Ah yes, I should have remembered that kapres would gladly show themselves to you if you become their friend. I had no idea that this particular one is very impressionable.
Nevertheless, I replied to Kapan'alig without missing a beat, "Yes, I actually called you my friend, and you and I are going to have a little talk."
The kapre nodded enthusiastically as I walked closer to him.
"Okay, Kapan'alig, what would you say about me showing you a suitable tree for you to live in?" I offered to him.
For a couple of seconds, he nodded enthusiastically again, but suddenly, his face froze. "Please don't tell me there's going to be a catch."
"Well," I began, trying to compose my sentences carefully, "it's not really a catch, but you do have to work for it. Just for today, though. After that, the tree will be all yours."
"Ah, that's good," Kapan'alig sighed in relief. "That actually makes me feel better about accepting your offer. So what do I need to do?"
"For starters, I just need to ask you this question," I spoke somewhat more seriously this time. "Do you know what a kablan is?"
As I expected, Kapan'alig's face fell when I asked him the question.
"Not really, no," Kapan'alig replied. "Other than what I've heard that they are extremely dangerous, I know nothing about them."
"Okay then, let me explain this to you in an easily digestible way," I started to lecture him. A kablan, just like a kapre, is a tree demon who confuses people in their familiar surroundings, and they're also just as large as your kind, but that is as far as your similarities go. Unlike you, kablans are extremely vicious, especially in their old age, and instead of kidnapping women to force them to marry them, they kidnap men and torture them in progressively more brutal ways, barely keeping them alive, just enough for them to squirm in pain. Finally, instead of a large cigar like yours, they keep a gourd that never runs out of liquor, and it's the smell of their breath reeking in alcohol that confuses their victims, as the smoke from your cigar would."
I let Kapan'alig absorb everything I've said before adding, "So basically, they're you, but deadly."
Kapan'alig's jaw dropped, dropping his cigar as a result. Luckily, he managed to catch it with his hand before it hit the ground.
"So," Kapan'alig croaked, his eyes darting around, "you want me to fight a kablan?"
"No, I want us to fight a kablan," I corrected him, but did a double take. "Actually, yeah, you will fight a kablan but you can't kill it."
"I can't kill it? Is a kablan really that strong as an opponent?" Kapan'alig questioned. "Mind you, I just passed by my teenage years, so I'm as strong as can be."
"Yes, I know that much, but it's not a question whether you are physically fit to kill a kablan... or anyone, for that matter," I explained. "I just have to ask my next question: have you killed anyone before? And if you haven't, are you morally twisted enough to do it?"
Kapan'alig opened his mouth to retaliate, but stopped before he could speak another word. I can see the cogs inside his brain while he tried to think of something to answer to me. Ultimately, he answered, "No. No, I haven't killed anyone before, and I'm sure that I wouldn't be killing anyone anytime soon."
"That's actually good to hear," I sighed. "Rest assured that all you have to do is to fight this kablan. You just need to distract it long enough, but bonus points if you can actually weaken it. And that goes without saying that you should do your best not to get killed in the process."
"Hmm, that I could do," Kapan'alig replied, sounding surer. "So where is this kablan, anyway? And is it a he or a she?"
"That particular kablan... ugh! I couldn't even bring myself to call it a 'he.' He lives in a santol tree not far from our backyard and he has grown into a nuisance, not only for us, but also to our neighbors. Even Fred's barriers don't seem to work as well as they did in the past anymore," I ranted.
"A santol tree?" Kapan'alig repeated, sounding enthusiastic once again. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go beat up a kablan!"
"Let's go then," I said, motioning Kapan'alig to my motorcycle.
Fortunately, it seems that Kapan'alig knows how to ride at the back of a motorcycle, but I guess he sees people doing this before his rice field is abandoned, so I guess I'll give him that.
By the time we arrived at our mansion, it was already nearing dusk.
"Alam mo, it's surprising that you can speak in straight English despite, well, being a kapre," I commented as I opened the gate and pulled my motorcycle to the garage.
"I'm not much of a talker, truth be told," Kapan'alig confessed. "When I heard that English has much shorter sentences and words than Tagalog, I had to learn it somehow. It didn't take long, though."
As soon as we reached our backyard, I could already smell alcohol reeking through the thick vegetation beyond our property.
"Is there anything else I need to know regarding kablans before we rush into battle?" Kapan'alig questioned me.
I heaved a sigh before giving him a confession. "Gus' personal issues aside, this particular kablan knows what Fred and I actually are. He had the audacity to line his claws with silver, which means attempting to get rid of him by ourselves would cost us our lives. So if there's something you need to prioritize, make sure his claws doesn't come in contact with me at all costs. Any other questions?"
Without missing a beat, Kapan'alig asked, "What are you?"
Finally taking off my helmet, I just gave Kapan'alig a smile and chuckled, "Instead of telling you, why don't I just show you?" before motioning him to follow me through the thick overgrowth.
But when we finally reached the clearing where the santol tree is located, we were greeted by a shocking sight: a large brown man about the size of Kapan'alig was sprawled lifeless on the santol's roots with its gourd of liquor not far from him. There seemed to be no signs of struggle in the surroundings.
"Well that's convenient," Kapan'alig whistled. "At least we don't have to kill someone who's already dead."
"You're right, but," I began but trailed off as I kept on gazing at the kablan's body. This is where I remembered something. "Kapan'alig, how far away can someone smell your cigar without you trying to trap women or anyone else for that matter?"
"Ah that," Kapan'alig chuckled, "I'd like to believe the smoke can reach long distances. You might be able to smell me smoking even when I'm still in front of your gate."
My eyes widened at this. If that was the case, the kablan could have already known we were coming even when we were still far away.
I jumped back as fast as I can and shouted, "Watch out, it's a trap!"
Far too late, Kapan'alig's right hand has been caught by the kablan's vice-like grip, which made him scream at the top of his lungs. I saw the kablan try to maul Kapan'alig with its right hand, but the latter managed to catch its wrist before it was able to injure him.
Kapan'alig then shot his eyes to me and cried, "Whatever you plan to do, do it NOW!"
I could then feel Kapan'alig's gaze at me turn from determination to shock and fear when I dived behind the kablan, sunk my fangs on its neck, and started sucking its blood like there's no tomorrow.
I didn't know how much time has passed since I started sucking the kablan's blood, but it felt like several minutes before it finally became limp and Kapan'alig was able to let go.
"Well, that takes care of that," I said as I wiped my mouth with my hand. "This will be enough to keep me filled for another year or so."
Kapan'alig kept on staring at me in disbelief. At the very least, it already looked like he knows what I am. It was just unexpected that he started giggling after several moments of silence.
"Uh, may I ask what's so funny?" I inquired him.
"Heeheehee! I actually managed to catch one this afternoon!" he chimed.
When I realized what he meant, I smiled back and replied, "Then do what you want with that information. I'll just head inside and wash up, then bring back a shovel to help you bury this kablan somewhere."
"Try to bring a bigger shovel, will you?" Kapan'alig told me as I was walking away. "If what you said about kablans are true, then we might also need to bury the men this guy tortured to death."
"Nah, there's no need for that," I casually replied as I turned around. "Gus might refuse to kill this kablan himself, but he wouldn't think twice in breaking his blood oath if he ever brought a man in that tree. By the way, welcome home, buddy."
I finally turned to walk back to the house to wash this blood from my face and neck. Once I was done with that, I took a shovel and went back to Kapan'alig's new tree. When I got there, I was surprised to see Kapan'alig has also finished digging a decently deep grave for the kablan.
"I could lift this guy myself, but that wouldn't give him any dignity, so mind helping me with the feet?" Kapan'alig requested.
"Fair enough," I nonchalantly replied before lifting up the kablan's feet.
Both of us then dropped the body in the grave and quickly shoved the dirt on top of it. By the time we were done, the moon has fully risen.
"Okay, Kapan'alig, I'd like to join you on your homecoming a little bit longer, but Gus and Fred will be home any minute now, so I'll just leave you here to fully immerse yourself in your new tree and, well, we'll see each other again."
I was once again surprised when he said, "I never even knew his name."
For a second, I felt a little guilty because despite their differences, kapres and kablans are closely related, which somehow makes them almost like family.
"Trayd'or," I simply answered him. "That's what I heard Gus call it. Everyone believed that kablans have been hunted to extinction because they offer more trouble than they're worth, unlike kapres who occasionally serve as guardians or can even be friends."
Instead of immediately going back to the house, I waited for Kapan'alig to ask more questions. Fortunately, he just shrugged and finally faced the santol tree.
"Ah yes, I've always preferred santol trees over mango trees," Kapan'alig chimed. "Thank you so much for my new home... erm, what do I call you again? I can always just call you 'my friend' but I think it's better if I call you by your name."
"Ah yeah, I'm Raffy, by the way," I introduced myself. "Nice to meet you, Kapan'alig. Now I'll be on my way so you can have a feel on your new home."
"Okay, thanks again," Kapan'alig said one last time before climbing up to the tree.
As I walked towards the house, I actually felt a great surge of relief when the strong smell of alcohol was finally replaced by the faint smell of tobacco.
After putting back the shovel in the shed at the back of out mansion, I went back to the front to see Fred on his way out of the garage in his werewolf form, stark naked. Just then, Gus entered the gate with his cosplay gloves on one hand and a wild expression on his face.
If this reunion was not weird enough, all three of us then chorused, "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!"
It was breakfast time and I just had my bowl of oatmeal and bananas and my cup of coffee, so I'm in the mood for whatever the man has in mind right now.
"Really now? Sige nga, how would you pronounce his first album, then?" I heard him say in a snide voice.
"Like the letter X, of course," I replied without batting an eye. "Come on, Fred, what am I, a fake fan for not knowing?"
I went back to listening to Ed Sheeran's song, not really expecting any response from Fred, not that I heard him make any, at the very least.
I then notice Gus enter the dining room.
"What's up, Baby Aerodactyls?" Gus greeted, holding his mug of coffee on his right hand and a newspaper under his right armpit, which I found strange.
"What's with the newspaper?" I questioned him, turning down the volume of the radio, muffling Ed Sheeran's singing voice. "And lemme guess, that's what you call your YouTube subscribers?"
Gus rolled his eyes before answering, "Firstly, it's refreshing to be able to read some news without blue light radiation messing up your sleeping patterns for once. And second, AerodactylScreams isn't my YouTube handle for nothing, you know."
I stared at Gus for a couple more seconds before I finally shrugged it off.
I then stuffed the small radio in my drawstring bag, tied my hair in a ponytail, and said, "Well, gotta go, gonna be late for my Zumba class. Bye daddy, bye gramps!"
"Take care, unica hija," I heard Gus reply as I left the dining room.
I then took my jacket from the clothes rack down the hallway and wore it, making sure that no inch of my skin is left uncovered. Once that is done, I went to the garage to retrieve my motorcycle. After wearing my helmet, I started my motorcycle and finally left the mansion.
The sun has barely risen but I deemed it necessary to go to the gym as early as 6AM. Not because a lot of my Zumba students are early birds themselves (they probably don't wake up until nine in the morning), but because the guys who do weight training are.
Okay, Thermopylae Gym, the gym where I work is fairly new. Because of that, most guys who applied for a gym membership are somewhat new to weight training, and it goes without saying that more often than not, they would do a lot of mistakes during lifting, which could render their sets useless, or worse, potentially injure them in the long run. Though there are some members that have transferred from other gyms and can already be considered experts, they're not exactly good teachers, no matter how socially active they are, so it's up to me and Nick, the gym's owner and manager, to watch over the players, making sure they're doing their routines right. Well, at least after he takes his brother to school, that is.
Pulling the brakes of my bike as I arrived in front of the gym, I can already see a black haired burly guy in a black drop armhole tank top and gray sweatpants and a younger, skinnier guy in a school uniform on their way out.
"Realtalk, Nick, you might as well take your top off," I snickered, parking my motorbike near the entrance. "Sa lagay mong 'yan, nagdamit ka pa."
"Good morning to you, too, Raffy," Nick replied nonchalantly. "Ito ang uso ngayon, so your argument is invalid, so to speak. Anyway, buti na lang dumating ka na. Kailangan ko nang ihatid si Alvin sa school habang maaga pa. Remind me again to give you duplicates of the gym keys para hindi na hassle."
"Nick, I know you mean well, and I appreciate the trust," I replied, taking off my helmet, "but I should remind you that I am the Queen of Misplaced Stuff. I would only lose the keys if you give me copies of them."
"A queen, nevertheless," Nick said in a smooth tone. "Suit yourself, then. Well, mauna na kami. Maaga pa si Alvin ngayon since preparation para sa foundation week nila."
"Sige po, mauna na kami, Ate Raffy," the kid named Alvin added.
"Okay, take care, you two," I waved at them as they entered their Vios and eventually drove from the gym's parking lot.
When I entered the gym, I saw that there are only two players doing their weight training routines. It looks like they know what they're doing and they're doing their repetitions right, so I just proceeded to the ladies' locker room to get changed to my Zumba outfit. I could use a bit of warmup while I wait for my co-instructors and students to arrive.
*****
"Okay girls, what do you say we change it up a bit today and dance to something more retro?" I asked my co-instructors after our stretching exercise.
From here, I could already hear chatters of approval from the students.
"That'd be great, Raffy," Verity, one of my co-instructors agreed. "Actually, I was about to suggest that we dance to some 2000s music today, but yours is a better idea."
"Ooh, I should look into that," I replied, thrilled. "By the way, where's Lynn?"
"I'm not sure," Verity answered. "She said something about an ultra bonus week, but I didn't really get what she was saying. All I know is that she made it a point to keep he phone and power banks fully charged for today."
"Did she now? Well, we can probably do without her for now," I said, then took my position in front of the large mirror. "Okay girls, can everybody see me?"
The girls gave me a resounding, "Yeah~!"
"Alrighty, then I hope you're familiar with I Feel Love by Donna Summer, 'cause that's going to be our first song," I announced as I connected my wireless speaker to my phone.
Everyone cheered at my announcement.
When the music started playing, I started to do some basic warmup moves, just enough to get everyone's blood pumping.
Ooh
It's so good
It's so good
It's so good
It's so good
It's so good~
Ooh
I'm in love
I'm in love
I'm in love
I'm in love
I'm in love~
Ooh
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love
I feel love~
I feel looooooove~
I feel looooooove~
As the song went on, I made dance steps that became progressively more forceful and complicated that are guaranteed to make you sweat. Most of them focused on the hips and belly because that's what most of my students target anyway, but I was sure to incorporate all other body parts so you can consider it a full body workout.
By the time the song ended, everyone was soaked with sweat, save for me.
"Okay, water break, then we'll resume with another song," I announced to the girls as they sat by the walls. I, on the other hand, don't even feel tired in the slightest, so I played Donna Summer's I Feel Love again, but this time, I alone went to the middle of the dance floor, taking off my hair tie amd letting my hair down.
Instead of repeating my Zumba moves earlier, I did a dance routine that consisted of a lot of hair flips, a bit of twerking, and a whole lotta sass. I ended my routine with a full split, which got everyone cheering wildly.
When the cheering died down somewhat, I walked up to Verity and giggled, "Dare I do that routine in front of the boys outside?"
"Huy, huwag!" Verity blurted out. "Last time you pulled a stunt like that, someone's foot got flattened by a dumbbell. Kung ako ang tatanungin, I don't want something like that to happen again, kahit na alam nating paminta ang karamihan sa kanila diyan."
"Ang nega mo talaga," I replied. "At kailan ka pa naging graduate ng Assumption College? Straight man, buo, o durog, it's none of our business what goes on with their lives outside the gym."
"Sus! Anong akala mo sa akin, judgmental?" Verity shot back. "Just so you know, I fully support everyone, no matter their sexuality. In fact, excited na nga ako how Julius and Lance's relationship would blossom."
"Ah, hindi ka nga judgmental, chismosa ka naman," I drawled, rolling my eyes, while fiddling with my phone. "I don't even know which one's worse."
Before Verity can argue back, I called to our students, "Okay, breaktime's over. Now, do you guys want some hot stuff baby this evening?"
Amidst everyone's cheers of approval, I can hear Verity shout, "Yeah! I want some hot stuff baby tonight!"
*****
"O, Raffy, magla-lunch ka na?" Nick greeted me as I passed by the gym's front table.
"Oo, buti nga hindi pa ako nalipasan ng gutom," I lied. "Time flies when you're enjoying yourself. By the way, I didn't think you'd take my advice this morning seriously."
Sure enough, Nick had taken off his tank, to be replaced by a red towel around his neck.
"I had to," Nick reasoned. "Someone asked me earlier how to properly do Celtic push-ups. I had to take my shirt off so I could show him all the muscle groups at work, para mas madaling ituro."
"Celtic push-ups?" I repeated. "Isn't that very high intensity? I heard you wouldn't be able to do it for so long, if you're not built for it."
"That's correct, Raffy," Nick confirmed, "which is why it is an exercise reserved for the most rigorous routines, though kung malaki na ang katawan mo, it doesn't really do much help, unless nagpapakitang-gilas ka lang."
Just then, someone entered the gym and greeted us, "Hi, good afternoon. Sorry I'm super late."
"Lynn, maaga ka pa para bukas," I heard Verity call to her from behind me. "Teka, is that what I think it is?"
I saw what Verity meant: Lynn was carrying two boxes of pizza bundled together. It was a wonder why I didn't smell it from outside.
"Ah oo, I brought some pizza because I felt like celebrating," Lynn explained, then took out her phone and showed it to us. "Isa na lang ang kulang."
Looking at her phone, I saw pictures of three strange creatures, all colored red with green accents. They look somewhat similar, but there was a fundamental difference in each of their appearances. All three were labeled 'Deoxys.'
Something tells me that Lynn is a Baby Aerodactyl.
"Adik 'to," Verity mumbled. "So enough na yan para magpa-pizza ka?"
"Why not, 'diba?" Lynn replied. "And of course, I know that Raffy is allergic to garlic, so I just told them to hold the garlic."
Figures. No wonder I didn't smell anything.
"Aww, thank you, but you shouldn't have," I said, nevertheless. "I already have my antihistamines, you know."
"Kahit na," Nick inserted. "Antihistamines can only do so much kung nagka-anaphylaxis ka na. Alvin's told me about it in passing while reviewing for his entrance exam for senior high."
"So ano, let's eat?" Lynn offered, motioning for us to go to a cottage near the gym's entrance. That cottage serves as a resting place exclusively for us gym instructors.
We took our time eating inside the cottage. The inside of the gym might have a good ventilation system, but the natural breeze of the outside hits differently. In any case, each of us had four slices of pizza, two from each box Lynn brought. I'd have to commend her for asking the chef to hold the garlic. Nick was right: antihistamines wouldn't help much if I ever come in contact with garlic.
*****
"Raffy, samahan mo naman akong umuwi," Verity asked me halfway through the afternoon while I was teaching a first-timer how to properly do bench presses. "I think my period's arriving early this month, I'm already have a cramping feeling, and I'm not sure if I can take the commute home by myself."
"Ha? Meron ka na ngayon?" I demanded. "Then maybe that's why you weren't as energetic as you usually are by the time we finished lunch. You can just hitch a ride with me, pero sa tingin mo ayos lang kina Nick at Lynn na maiwan dito?"
"It's okay, I think," Lynn replied for Verity. "Nick told something about being able to watch the gym until closing time because he'll pick up his brother rather late tonight. And also, parang thank you ko na rin ito for holding the fort while I was on an adventure this morning. So kami na muna ang bahala dito."
"Oh sige, I'll just go get changed, then," I said before going to the women's locker room to wear my riding gear.
*****
It was only a short ride from Thermopylae Gym to Verity's house. I waited for her to enter her gate before leaving and deciding to go back to the gym since it's still four-thirty in the afternoon. There's plenty of time to spare, and I can't possibly let Nick and Lynn handle the gym by themselves for the reminder of the day.
I was driving without a care in the world when I just noticed that several minutes have already passed and I still haven't passed the entrance to the gym. It didn't really strike me as odd because I know for a fact that I'd just passed a crossroad with a sign that clearly says San Pedro St. and San Pedro (Melag), and I often zone out when driving, so I could have just felt like several minutes have passed but in actuality, it's just a short time.
What felt like a few minutes have passed when I came across another crossroad with a sign that said San Pedro St. and San Pedro (Melag). This is where I asked myself how many San Pedro Streets are in San Carlos. I'm only aware of two.
I suddenly pulled the brakes a few minutes later when I saw a crossroad and the very same signage for the third time. I'd still be considering it as a coincidence if I just happen to go in a circle and drive through the same crossroad twice, but three times? I think I already know what I'm dealing with right now.
There was only one problem: the sun's still up.
"Son of a cunt, I guess I'll just have to act fast," I muttered, unbuckling my helmet to prepare to take my clothes off.
Once I fully removed my helmet, I knew there was no turning back. I quickly moved to unzip my jacket, removed it as fast as I can, then removed my sports bra to turn it inside out. As I was wearing it back, I could already feel my exposed skin sting from the sun's rays, so I know I had to act faster.
Removing my pants was a harder job because I had to remove my shoes first. I was already grunting in pain as the remaining exposed skin started smoking as I wore my pants inside out. A great surge of relief hit me when I finally managed to wear my jacket after turning that inside out.
By the time I put my helmet back on, I could just see two glowing orange orbs by a narrow tree on the side of the road. This confirmed my suspicion that what I'm dealing with is a kapre. I was taken aback by what the creature told me then.
"Sorry about that," the kapre called to me from the side of the road. I can't really see the creature, but I can just make out that the voice indeed came from where the two glowing orbs are. "I was just testing out this tree if it's suitable to live in, and I must have caught you in my cigar's smoke."
"So you did," I replied, keeping my guard up. "Just to be clear, you have no ill intentions to me or anyone who happened to pass by, do you?"
With the way the two orbs moved, I assumed the kapre shook his head. "Nope, no ill intentions whatsoever. Besides, I'm already through my teenage phase, so I'm past the need to kidnap women or anyone I fancy."
"Huh, then I guess I can somewhat trust you to leave you on your business then, Mr. Kapre," I said in a somewhat dismissive tone.
"It's Kapan'alig," the kapre specified. "My name is Kapan'alig."
"Oh, well, it's nice to meet you, Kapan'alig," I replied. "I know I should really be leaving right now, but I just have to ask, why are you looking for a new tree to live in? What happened to the old one?"
"Well, my mango tree happened to be located in an unused rice field," the kapre named Kapan'alig started explaining. "I don't exactly know what happened, but people just stopped working on that field, and a few days later, the entire place was fenced up. Over time, the soil dried up, the land became unfertile, and my mango tree slowly died from lack of nourishment. I have no choice but to look for another tree where no other being lives in."
Just then, my phone rang from inside my drawstring bag. Thinking of nothing in particular, I took it to see Lynn calling me. I answered without hesitation.
"Yo Raffy, you forgot your speakers here in the gym," I heard Lynn speak. "Will you be getting it when you get back later?"
I looked at where the kapre should be standing where I can now see the glowing orange orbs better because of the setting sun. For some reason, a sudden stroke of inspiration gave me an idea for a very bold plan.
"Um, just leave it on Nick's desk," I replied. "I'm gonna use it again tomorrow anyway. Besides, I ran into a friend and we're going to have a little talk."
"Okay then, have fun," said Lynn before hanging up.
When I looked up, instead of just two glowing orange orbs, I can now see the full form of a large man about nine feet tall with the majority of his body covered in shaggy hair and is wearing what seems to be a traditional Bontoc loincloth. Despite his large cigar between his teeth glowing bright orange, I can see his wide toothy grin. For a kapre, his teeth are surprisingly white.
"You called me your friend," the kapre named Kapan'alig told me, his voice filled with joy. "You actually called me your friend."
Ah yes, I should have remembered that kapres would gladly show themselves to you if you become their friend. I had no idea that this particular one is very impressionable.
Nevertheless, I replied to Kapan'alig without missing a beat, "Yes, I actually called you my friend, and you and I are going to have a little talk."
The kapre nodded enthusiastically as I walked closer to him.
"Okay, Kapan'alig, what would you say about me showing you a suitable tree for you to live in?" I offered to him.
For a couple of seconds, he nodded enthusiastically again, but suddenly, his face froze. "Please don't tell me there's going to be a catch."
"Well," I began, trying to compose my sentences carefully, "it's not really a catch, but you do have to work for it. Just for today, though. After that, the tree will be all yours."
"Ah, that's good," Kapan'alig sighed in relief. "That actually makes me feel better about accepting your offer. So what do I need to do?"
"For starters, I just need to ask you this question," I spoke somewhat more seriously this time. "Do you know what a kablan is?"
As I expected, Kapan'alig's face fell when I asked him the question.
"Not really, no," Kapan'alig replied. "Other than what I've heard that they are extremely dangerous, I know nothing about them."
"Okay then, let me explain this to you in an easily digestible way," I started to lecture him. A kablan, just like a kapre, is a tree demon who confuses people in their familiar surroundings, and they're also just as large as your kind, but that is as far as your similarities go. Unlike you, kablans are extremely vicious, especially in their old age, and instead of kidnapping women to force them to marry them, they kidnap men and torture them in progressively more brutal ways, barely keeping them alive, just enough for them to squirm in pain. Finally, instead of a large cigar like yours, they keep a gourd that never runs out of liquor, and it's the smell of their breath reeking in alcohol that confuses their victims, as the smoke from your cigar would."
I let Kapan'alig absorb everything I've said before adding, "So basically, they're you, but deadly."
Kapan'alig's jaw dropped, dropping his cigar as a result. Luckily, he managed to catch it with his hand before it hit the ground.
"So," Kapan'alig croaked, his eyes darting around, "you want me to fight a kablan?"
"No, I want us to fight a kablan," I corrected him, but did a double take. "Actually, yeah, you will fight a kablan but you can't kill it."
"I can't kill it? Is a kablan really that strong as an opponent?" Kapan'alig questioned. "Mind you, I just passed by my teenage years, so I'm as strong as can be."
"Yes, I know that much, but it's not a question whether you are physically fit to kill a kablan... or anyone, for that matter," I explained. "I just have to ask my next question: have you killed anyone before? And if you haven't, are you morally twisted enough to do it?"
Kapan'alig opened his mouth to retaliate, but stopped before he could speak another word. I can see the cogs inside his brain while he tried to think of something to answer to me. Ultimately, he answered, "No. No, I haven't killed anyone before, and I'm sure that I wouldn't be killing anyone anytime soon."
"That's actually good to hear," I sighed. "Rest assured that all you have to do is to fight this kablan. You just need to distract it long enough, but bonus points if you can actually weaken it. And that goes without saying that you should do your best not to get killed in the process."
"Hmm, that I could do," Kapan'alig replied, sounding surer. "So where is this kablan, anyway? And is it a he or a she?"
"That particular kablan... ugh! I couldn't even bring myself to call it a 'he.' He lives in a santol tree not far from our backyard and he has grown into a nuisance, not only for us, but also to our neighbors. Even Fred's barriers don't seem to work as well as they did in the past anymore," I ranted.
"A santol tree?" Kapan'alig repeated, sounding enthusiastic once again. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go beat up a kablan!"
"Let's go then," I said, motioning Kapan'alig to my motorcycle.
Fortunately, it seems that Kapan'alig knows how to ride at the back of a motorcycle, but I guess he sees people doing this before his rice field is abandoned, so I guess I'll give him that.
By the time we arrived at our mansion, it was already nearing dusk.
"Alam mo, it's surprising that you can speak in straight English despite, well, being a kapre," I commented as I opened the gate and pulled my motorcycle to the garage.
"I'm not much of a talker, truth be told," Kapan'alig confessed. "When I heard that English has much shorter sentences and words than Tagalog, I had to learn it somehow. It didn't take long, though."
As soon as we reached our backyard, I could already smell alcohol reeking through the thick vegetation beyond our property.
"Is there anything else I need to know regarding kablans before we rush into battle?" Kapan'alig questioned me.
I heaved a sigh before giving him a confession. "Gus' personal issues aside, this particular kablan knows what Fred and I actually are. He had the audacity to line his claws with silver, which means attempting to get rid of him by ourselves would cost us our lives. So if there's something you need to prioritize, make sure his claws doesn't come in contact with me at all costs. Any other questions?"
Without missing a beat, Kapan'alig asked, "What are you?"
Finally taking off my helmet, I just gave Kapan'alig a smile and chuckled, "Instead of telling you, why don't I just show you?" before motioning him to follow me through the thick overgrowth.
But when we finally reached the clearing where the santol tree is located, we were greeted by a shocking sight: a large brown man about the size of Kapan'alig was sprawled lifeless on the santol's roots with its gourd of liquor not far from him. There seemed to be no signs of struggle in the surroundings.
"Well that's convenient," Kapan'alig whistled. "At least we don't have to kill someone who's already dead."
"You're right, but," I began but trailed off as I kept on gazing at the kablan's body. This is where I remembered something. "Kapan'alig, how far away can someone smell your cigar without you trying to trap women or anyone else for that matter?"
"Ah that," Kapan'alig chuckled, "I'd like to believe the smoke can reach long distances. You might be able to smell me smoking even when I'm still in front of your gate."
My eyes widened at this. If that was the case, the kablan could have already known we were coming even when we were still far away.
I jumped back as fast as I can and shouted, "Watch out, it's a trap!"
Far too late, Kapan'alig's right hand has been caught by the kablan's vice-like grip, which made him scream at the top of his lungs. I saw the kablan try to maul Kapan'alig with its right hand, but the latter managed to catch its wrist before it was able to injure him.
Kapan'alig then shot his eyes to me and cried, "Whatever you plan to do, do it NOW!"
I could then feel Kapan'alig's gaze at me turn from determination to shock and fear when I dived behind the kablan, sunk my fangs on its neck, and started sucking its blood like there's no tomorrow.
I didn't know how much time has passed since I started sucking the kablan's blood, but it felt like several minutes before it finally became limp and Kapan'alig was able to let go.
"Well, that takes care of that," I said as I wiped my mouth with my hand. "This will be enough to keep me filled for another year or so."
Kapan'alig kept on staring at me in disbelief. At the very least, it already looked like he knows what I am. It was just unexpected that he started giggling after several moments of silence.
"Uh, may I ask what's so funny?" I inquired him.
"Heeheehee! I actually managed to catch one this afternoon!" he chimed.
When I realized what he meant, I smiled back and replied, "Then do what you want with that information. I'll just head inside and wash up, then bring back a shovel to help you bury this kablan somewhere."
"Try to bring a bigger shovel, will you?" Kapan'alig told me as I was walking away. "If what you said about kablans are true, then we might also need to bury the men this guy tortured to death."
"Nah, there's no need for that," I casually replied as I turned around. "Gus might refuse to kill this kablan himself, but he wouldn't think twice in breaking his blood oath if he ever brought a man in that tree. By the way, welcome home, buddy."
I finally turned to walk back to the house to wash this blood from my face and neck. Once I was done with that, I took a shovel and went back to Kapan'alig's new tree. When I got there, I was surprised to see Kapan'alig has also finished digging a decently deep grave for the kablan.
"I could lift this guy myself, but that wouldn't give him any dignity, so mind helping me with the feet?" Kapan'alig requested.
"Fair enough," I nonchalantly replied before lifting up the kablan's feet.
Both of us then dropped the body in the grave and quickly shoved the dirt on top of it. By the time we were done, the moon has fully risen.
"Okay, Kapan'alig, I'd like to join you on your homecoming a little bit longer, but Gus and Fred will be home any minute now, so I'll just leave you here to fully immerse yourself in your new tree and, well, we'll see each other again."
I was once again surprised when he said, "I never even knew his name."
For a second, I felt a little guilty because despite their differences, kapres and kablans are closely related, which somehow makes them almost like family.
"Trayd'or," I simply answered him. "That's what I heard Gus call it. Everyone believed that kablans have been hunted to extinction because they offer more trouble than they're worth, unlike kapres who occasionally serve as guardians or can even be friends."
Instead of immediately going back to the house, I waited for Kapan'alig to ask more questions. Fortunately, he just shrugged and finally faced the santol tree.
"Ah yes, I've always preferred santol trees over mango trees," Kapan'alig chimed. "Thank you so much for my new home... erm, what do I call you again? I can always just call you 'my friend' but I think it's better if I call you by your name."
"Ah yeah, I'm Raffy, by the way," I introduced myself. "Nice to meet you, Kapan'alig. Now I'll be on my way so you can have a feel on your new home."
"Okay, thanks again," Kapan'alig said one last time before climbing up to the tree.
As I walked towards the house, I actually felt a great surge of relief when the strong smell of alcohol was finally replaced by the faint smell of tobacco.
After putting back the shovel in the shed at the back of out mansion, I went back to the front to see Fred on his way out of the garage in his werewolf form, stark naked. Just then, Gus entered the gate with his cosplay gloves on one hand and a wild expression on his face.
If this reunion was not weird enough, all three of us then chorused, "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!"
BattlePyramid Creator