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Present. Tuesday, 19:57

Chanel

The evening breeze was chilling against my face when I stepped out onto the grand terrace. Shivering, I blew and rubbed my hands together, feeling dwarfed by the roar of nearby clouds. Evergreen shrubs in retaining garden beds flailed in distress as I treaded along the Jura limestone floor.

Something about this weather made me want to grip my insides to prevent them from shaking. It was this sensation of wanting to puke my guts that I was keeping an eye out. Wretched remorse jabbed at my lungs until I got more difficult to breathe and weakened my knees. The indifferent night sky was not what I expected at all.

Still, I had to attempt to maintain my composure.

If there's another thing I learned from Maddie, it's that people watch. They always do, their eyes as active as an owl's, in the dead of night, ready to snatch a struggling prey. A small, risky move such as trembling is enough to hint at the flaws under glamours. On snap and you might as well be good as dead.

But of course, cover-up curtains flap along with the wind, offering glimpses of the secrets we wish to keep. At times, the wind is simply too strong and persistent, you're taken aback at how powerful it is, its potential to completely unveil the rest of the stage you're performing. Each of us was an entertainer in a shitshow, hopefully, good enough excuses for actors.

"Chanel, darling, is that you?" Despite the endearment, the tone was disdainful enough for me to note it as Eleanor Hemingway's. "Why, it is!"

"Yes, Miss E?"

"Miss Hemingway," she corrected.

"Right – Right," I stammered. Even though I was a bit taller and far thinner than her, her aura was pricking as it was cold, malevolent even. It forced an apology out of me. "Is Adela with you, Miss Hemingway?"

Her proud stance and bejeweled limbs alone commanded attention. Whisking away stray brunette strands from her face, she offered me a perplexed look. "You've kept us waiting for quite some time, I grew bored with the antics." With her best effort, she sought to revoke her smugness by putting on a tight smile. "But she's still in the pond, dear."

Nodding, I ran fingers through my ponytail by habit. As I walked past her, sheepishly ducking as if expecting a blow, my feet got caught up with the foot of a metal chair, almost knocking it over. I caught it before it hit the floor.

As I turned, Miss Hemingway's lips were in a straight line.

Then, "Mend that for me and go. Adela's quite upset about a friend of yours."

I did as she ordered, asking, "Oh, did Ethan make a mess... again? He shouldn't have come here, I know; I'm – I'm really sorry about whatever it is."

"If you mean the drunkard, Glu's got him under control." She snapped her fingers twice. "Harvey, is it? The skinny, pretty boy. I caught whisperings about him.

"And goodness!" she exclaimed, dramatically throwing her hands in the air, the sleeves of her satin magenta robe smoothly sliding down her arms. "What are you kids even doing here on a school night?" Miss Hemingway said a couple more things before heading back to the manor, although I couldn't have possibly heard another word.

Relieved by her exit, I continued to walk. My senses seemed to be dulled, the focus only to one person. "Harvey Whitaker," I whispered, weirded out at how it sounded strange in my mouth. It wouldn't have been that way just a few weeks back.

I tried again. "Harv – Harvey." My voice this time started to waver. Stinging were my eyes as I uttered his name once more. I closed my eyes in hopes of shutting out all memories of him.

It did the exact opposite.

From then, fragments of him occupied my mind. Starting from the sparkle in his eyes each time he cracked a joke; to the puppy-like softness his eyes became when scolded, and; the fruity colognes he gave each of us girls in the Celibacy Club – mango for Adela, blueberry for me, and how he had to replace Maddie's with a raspberry scent because it's more sophisticated than strawberry – and how hurt he seemed when he saw his gift for Madison in the trash at the end of History with Mr. Rowan Roberts.

Visions of his death followed, as it inevitably should've had.

The unevenly cut-off fingers as if gnawed on by a wild boar and the still, wide-eyed stare he gave me when I entered the clubroom. It was so horrifying but strongly hypnotizing, as though his deep brown eyes wanted to devour me alive and drag me to hell with them. I remember feeling lightheaded over seeing all the blood that gushed in a stream-like flow from the massive wounds he had.

I gasped, perhaps a little too loudly since house staves glanced my way as I neared their quarters. They smiled and furrowed their eyebrows in concern, wrinkles visible on their faces. Their faces struck me with surprise. They were so raw and disarming, tightening my chest more.

I'd never see those lines on Harvey, I thought. No, not anymore.

Tiny raindrops started to fall on my face, and I ran, turning left once I was past the staff quarters, and into the mini forest. From there, my feet didn't take long to take me to a small bridge leading to a nipa hut. The irises and marsh marigolds along the stone coast of the pond were bent down in sorrow.

I gripped the wooden guardrail and slowly walked towards the hut. Adela was staring at the pond, resting her head on the windowsill as she watched through it, Glu was consoling the seemingly distraught Ethan. He was the first to see me.

"Chanel, finally." Glu stood upright. Even he looked uneasy, his eyes appearing more glossy than usual.

I nodded and rested my back on a post. A trail of warmth traced down my cheek. "I heard you guys were talking about him." A sniffle. "Not to be insensitive and just so you guys know I'm not trying to be... but we have to be careful."

Ethan snapped his head at me, and I jumped a little even though he said nothing. Instead, he wiped the contempt off his face, reaching on his pocket for a cigarette. He shuffled some more in search of a match.

My eyes darted to the small box on the wooden coffee table in front of him. As he sought out to grab, I instinctively snatched it first. I pursed my lips, hands trembling slightly, before replacing Glu from the chair across Ethan.

"We really could've used you there, Ethan."

"For what?" his words were slurred.

"Y-you know – you know what I mean. That could've gone very badly."

"Like it isn't bad enough for Harv? Or that guard –" Ethan cut words when his voice grew louder. He leaned in closer, breath smelling of strong liquor. "Or that guard you killed," he hissed.

"Do you think I don't know?" He grabbed my hand, the grip progressively getting tighter. "You guys were out at school that night. It's so easy to tie it up!"

I squirmed in my seat, trying to free my hand. His grip grew firmer still. I cried out when he grabbed my chin, too stunned to speak.

"Ohhhh my gosh, like, stop that right now!" Adela warned. "You weren't even there, ya know?"

"Because I don't want to hang out with murderers."

"'Yah, and you don't even knows who made the push."

He was intoxicated, I knew, but it didn't stop my hand from slapping his face, resulting in a meaty whack. Ethan let me go then, taken aback. He froze as he watched me rub my chin.

His lips turned down in realization of what he had done. "I didn't mean to. I was just –" Ethan slammed a fist down the table. "Fuck."

I slowly backed away from him and Glu helped me stand up. His face was contorted in disbelief of Ethan. "It's fine," I said. "Don't worry about it."

I was never really fond of lying. Maddie, when I was still by her side, made sure I told her everything. Even a white lie would result in her insulting me down or telling a rumor or a secret about me.

At the same time, she taught me to do so. So many instances, so many lies told for her. Being deceitful was alright whenever suited her and I often envied Madison's leverage over all us of, her freedom to make me do everything she wanted.

It's time to take back our freedom.

"As I've said..." I glanced at Ethan for his approval. He looked away and nodded. "We have to be extremely careful now. The school... they'll be having a memorial ceremony for Mr. Sikes, the – the guard. The school spoon-feeds people that it's an accident since they don't have anything to tie it to anyone. Some of us should go to avoid suspicions."

"What if we ask Maddie first? I mean, I sheriously know that we're not chummy with her, but lhike, we should help her. Plus, she's rheally wise," Adela asked, grimacing.

"No," Glu and I said at once.

"Adela, this started with her." I gently laid a hand on her shoulder. "And given everything she's done, w-we might not have any other option but to end it with her."

"'Kay, but how? And not," she made a stabbing gesture, "alright?"

With newly found confidence, I said, "Mrs. Powell plans to take the Celibacy Club from her. One-one of us has to be the next president – I could fill that for the sake of us. Then we cut her off from it."

"OhmiGod, lhike, no! That's so schandalous."

"Aren't you tired, Adela? You can finally drop the fake twang and all of us could be more present for each other." I heard Glu gasp at the revelation. "We need to grow out of what we are now."

"Fhine." She furrowed her eyebrows. "Fine. But wouldn't that make it more oblivious?"

"Obvious. But what will?"

"Cutting her off. It'll be as if we purposefully kicked her out on... well, purpose." I gave her a confused look. "I can't explain it, ugh!"

Ethan raised a hand, coughing on the back of the other. "I think what she means to say is it'd make us look guilty. Like we're hiding a secret and she's an inconvenience." His voice switched back from concerned to monotonous. "Yeah, if we want to do it, all involved should be in this discussion."

I bit my lip, starting to grow confused. I raised an eyebrow at him. Are you sure you won't chicken out again? I wanted to ask.

"Ally, I bet, doesn't want two shits with y'all," he said.

"And the club," Glu added. He fidgeted his fingers. "Brett will side with Maddie too."

"He might not. I think I know how to make him not to." I shook my head. "And I agree with Ethan.

"S-so for now, let's focus on cuh-cuh-convincing the other two in joining. Madison won't be scared with just the four of us. But if we get Brett on board, she'll-she'll leave us alone - for some time, at least.

"And this isn't just for us," I crossed my arms. "After everything she caused, let's do it for Harvey too."

We dispersed shortly after, deciding they had enough. Adela didn't want us to stay for the night, so we went back to the Manor to bid goodbyes to her and her mom, those of us who had belongings there retrieved them. At least she was kind enough to have Glu and I be driven home.

A couple of minutes in the ride, Glu fell into a slumber. I smiled looking at him, with tears threatening again. No wonder he was exhausted, we've all been wrapped around a dictator's had for so long. And we're finally going to be free!

It'll be over soon, I would've said if he were awake. I knew I wasn't the best friend anyone could've had, but I tried to be as supportive as I could. So supportive, in fact, that I didn't care if they wouldn't think to support me back. I've been always there for everyone even when they saw me as a sidekick and I never outright demanded anything.

"But would've been nice if you were up," I whispered, careful not to wake him or let the driver hear and assume I was insane. "I could use a friend for what I'm about to do." Comfort.

Not able to take it any longer, I gently held his hand as I silently sobbed.